“Ataishi turu atairu” – is a Okinawan proverb meaning “We get along well with those we can get along with well.”
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Theodore Roosevelt said that “the most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” Research shows how good relationships with people around us are important for our health and happiness. Knowing that, it seems that building good and positive relationships with the people around us should become one of our most sought after goals.
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And yet we struggle!
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While building and nurturing good relationships with other martial artists and with other people in our lives may come easy, there will always be those around us that we truly struggle to get along with or agree with.
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For many people, the situation of struggling with someone, calling them “difficult”. As if deeming those people “difficult” gives us some kind of an excuse to try less, or not to try at all.
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Many times we judge others simply because they think differently. How many times do you look at others differently because of the style of martial art they practice? Our notion that the way we see things is the ‘right’ way, is of course completely in our mind.
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We have to accept the fact that in order to have good relationships with pretty much anyone in our lives, we cannot limit ourselves to just having a good relationship with those who agree with us. It is with those who think differently, and are substantially different from us, that is the challenge.
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“If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn’t thinking.” – George S Patton
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It’s really not our place as human beings to judge other human beings. Judging someone causes them to feel attacked. Many conflicts have arisen from being judged incorrectly. Someone who judges you is not on your team, not your friend and not your ally. They are oftentimes perceived as a threat in the sense that they criticize who you are and what you do. Who wants to be close to someone that judges you? Judging works against good relationships, against teamwork and leads to unnecessary hostility.
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I am sure you have heard before that listening attentively to the other person is important. Many of us are so caught up in what we want to say, that we neglect to listen to others. Listening intently means that you need to be completely open to feedback that the other person may have on you. Yes, you or your martial art, may not be as perfect as you like to think, and it takes a lot of courage to accept and listen to that. But once you are able to do that, though, there is true opportunity to learn, and for change, and for growth. 
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“Let’s all get along while following our own paths and doing whatever the hell we want!” – Novala Takemoto
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 Photo Credit: VisitOkinawa.jp