The martial arts have been my way of life, sometimes my profession, for many, many years. During that time, I have often been asked how to stay motivated. How does someone get up every morning and continue their training routine? How does a practitioner avoid becoming part of the majority….. those who give up before reaching their goal?
.
Sometimes disappointment can rear its ugly head for whatever reason. Feeling disappointed with yourself or a situation, can make you question your ambitions, your self-worth, and your abilities. Practitioners can experience a series of disappointments over a short period of time, due to many different factors, such as; a lack of training time, the inability to remember kata, drills or techniques, forgetting terminology and more. These disappointments weigh heavily on their minds, and as a result, they tend to get overrun by negative thoughts and debilitating emotions.
.
Disappointment is a part of life that comes up when hopes or expectations aren’t met. It might be tempting to handle it by avoiding it altogether, or just giving up.
.
Feeling disappointed, of course, doesn’t feel great. However, in the short-run, it can actually be advantageous. But unfortunately, most people don’t see it that way.
.
The vast majority of people tend to wallow in their disappointments. And persistent wallowing often leads to self-doubt, despondency, and discouragement. Part of coping with disappointment is reminding yourself that it’s like a wave…. it will pass.
.
A way of dealing with disappointment is remembering that it’s simply a part of life. There’s no way to avoid it altogether. It’s a feeling that comes up around expectations that aren’t met. So, if you expect to have a life free of disappointment… you WILL be disappointed.
.
It’s inevitable that sometimes you may feel disappointed with others too. They have their own ideas, feelings, desires, problems and challenges, so there’s no way they will always meet the expectations you have of them. When you feel disappointed in someone else, it’s also common to feel frustrated, resentful, or even angry.
.
Distracting yourself is a helpful way to tolerate the feelings of disappointment while they persist. Making your expectations more flexible, realistic and by showing empathy for others, can also help lessen the discomfort of disappointment. Lastly, it’s healthy to remember and accept that disappointment is a part of life, and we all experience it sometimes.
.
There is nothing wrong with feeling short-term disappointment or having trouble finding the motivation to train in the martial arts, even if you love it. However…. there is something wrong with accepting this as an unchangeable fact. As with anything worthwhile in life, and in the martial arts, it’s up to you to make it work.
.
It’s not what happens to you that matters, but rather how you respond to the disappointments that life throws your way. That is what will make the difference tomorrow. 
.