Are you awesome? An amazing “sensei”. Beyond reproach? Just amazing at everything you do? Always correcting others but not yourself?…… Oh dear, guess what?…. We have some bad news for you.
.
There is, of course, a dangerous line between self-confidence and arrogance – a line to which some people are totally oblivious.
.
The dangers of being overconfident are numerous. They can make you oblivious to your own mistakes and shortcomings; and stunt your learning and self-improvement. The fact is, no one likes someone who’s self-deluded – especially if their talent level doesn’t quite measure up to their ego.
.
There are some people who simply cannot admit they were wrong in any circumstance. What in their psychological makeup makes it impossible for them to admit they were wrong, even when it is obvious they are?
.
The answer is related to their ego, and some people have such a fragile ego, such brittle self-esteem, such a weak psychological constitution, that admitting they made a mistake or that they were wrong is fundamentally too threatening for them to tolerate. Accepting they were wrong, absorbing that reality, would be so psychologically shattering, their defense mechanisms do something remarkable to avoid doing so – they literally distort the truth to make it less threatening. Their defense mechanisms protect their fragile ego by changing the very facts in their mind, so they are no longer wrong or culpable.
.
But the martial arts teaches humility right?…. My ass it does!
.
Martial arts do not teach anything else beyond the mechanics, strategies and techniques relating to self-protection, which may involve the injuring of another human being.
.
There’s a very naive notion out there that suggests martial arts instill some kind of moral compass or values. That notion is pure horse manure.
.
I never met a martial artist who said that his goal in martial arts was to become humble. Humility is an occasional byproduct of martial arts training, one which all of us hope we obtain….. but it is not a primary goal.
.
The primary goal of studying a martial art is to learn self defense (or to compete) isn’t it? If humility happens along the way, that’s just icing on the cake.
.
But when people are fundamentally unable to admit they’re wrong, when they cannot tolerate the very notion that they are capable of mistakes, it is because they suffer from an ego so fragile that they cannot get over it – they need to warp their very perception of reality and challenge obvious facts in order to defend their not being wrong in the first place.
.
What are the three hardest words for humans to say? (No not those)……. The answer turns out to be;…. “I don’t know.”……. So let it go, admit your mistakes, your flaws. It really is the only way to come out looking like a well-intentioned human being as opposed to an insecure, argumentative fool who thinks they are always right.
.
Of course, I maybe wrong!