“If you hate a person, you hate something in him (or her) that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” – Hermann Hesse (German-born Swiss poet, novelist, and painter. 1877-1962)
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At some point in life, all of us have held grudges against people. Why? The simplest explanation is that we are humans. We, humans, run pretty high on emotions.
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Grudges are usually the result of anger towards someone and the chances are that you will hold a colossal grudge against them (possibly forever). It’s important to understand that holding a grudge against someone is nothing but harmful for you.
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At its worst you may even develop a hatred for that person. While some forms of animosity may only manifest briefly and mildly, hatred is a form of active, ongoing hostility that often uses up significant emotional energy. When someone feels hatred for another person (or thing), they often spend much of their time fixating on their anger, their contempt, or dislike for their chosen subject. Hatred anywhere is not good but could be even worse in the martial arts.
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So why do people hate? According to Washington, D.C., clinical psychologist Dana Harron, the things people hate about others are the things that they fear within themselves. The idea is, “I’m not terrible; you are.”
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Hate is part of the range of human emotions. Hatred tends to emerge as a learned emotion that flourishes in the absence of compassion.
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The best ways I believe you can let go of a grudge or hatred for someone is with compassion and empathy. Rather than making assumptions about why a person is the way they are or why they do the things they do, try approaching your assumption with the curiosity that’s inspired by the phrase, “I wonder…” – Pause for a moment and consider whether what you’re telling yourself about the other person or group is accurate. What’s the evidence for your belief? Can you think of any counterexamples to your belief? We often fail to see the situation from the perspective of others.
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Ask yourself WHY you hate? Having hate within, corrupts you and only you. Don’t let a grudge or hate run your life. 

“Without anger there is no enemy… When hatred consumes us, we perceive enemies everywhere.” ~ Pema Chodron
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 Photo Credit: Proving Ground Performance
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