(Approx 2 minute 40 second read)

A little while ago I had a mother and young son join the dojo. I love it when families train together, it’s really enjoyable when we have a mixed class.
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One evening, I was teaching the youngsters how to be an awkward, real pain, difficult ‘little ‘un’, if ever approached by an adult who had the wrong intentions.
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To end the class just as a fun thing to do, I explained and showed that a smaller person, using leverage, could unbalance a larger person. Now, let me get this straight. This was not meant to be something that could be learned in 5 minutes, which realistically would take many attempts and a great deal of practice to become proficient in. But for that evening, it was a fun way to end the lesson with something different.
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As they were leaving, the mother muttered, “Now my son knows how to take down a fully grown adult.” She never came back.
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It made me think that people often have unrealistic expectations about self-protection, especially for children.
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Teaching self-protection is a tough one when it comes to children. I’m not going to dispute this. It greatly highlights the importance of learning and teaching “soft”, or non-physical skills.
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Typical children’s classes often center on unrealistic self-protection techniques – punching and blocking – cited as just ‘steps on the training ladder.’ But in reality, they’re ineffective.
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While it’s understandable to adapt teaching methods for children, it’s important not to teach ineffective methods simply because of their age, disguising them as mere ‘steps on a path’.
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Of course, you have to start somewhere. But teaching flawed methods that must later be unlearned, for me, is just counterproductive.
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Instead of teaching potentially ineffective punch, block drills, teach children self-protection for their level and understanding.
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Test their understanding of personal space, how to handle verbal aggression, taunts and deception.
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Verbalization skills should be high on the list, as they need to be able to shout to raise attention when put under pressure – especially if someone is trying to abduct or manhandle them.
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Escape must be the priority for any self-protection skill and this means reinforcing it as often as possible in training.
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In my classes we use role-play and when we require children to strike, we teach them to hit a target – always with a clear purpose – followed by an escape. This is applied to most drills, whether it’s a focus mitt exercise, striking the ‘Bob’, or hitting sensei while he’s wearing a helmet and pads.
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We approach self-defense with a clear understanding that fighting is a serious option. We don’t glorify it or make it fun.
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From my experience teaching children, we can introduce them to what I call “school yard self-defense” (mostly evading, escaping grips, pushes, bear hugs, head locks and so on).
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Kids like to wrestle so we have fair and safe grappling, from standing and on the ground.
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Teaching the next generation is a serious responsibility. Children need to exercise, they need to learn emotional intelligence, a strategy to deal with bullying, they need the skills of courtesy, and good manners, firstly instilled by their parents which is continued at the dojo, and to build real, practical defensive skills.
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It’s not childcare. It’s not keeping them amused while parents can go off and have a coffee. There are so many poor quality dojo around that teach children this way just because it’s the main income stream.
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We should give children more than just movements to memorize – we should equip them with awareness, confidence, and the ability to make smart decisions under pressure. If we truly care about their safety, we must move beyond ineffective drills and focus on what really matters. After all, we’re not just teaching techniques; we’re shaping the kind of individuals they will become.
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Written by Adam Carter – inspired by Steve Rowe, Shikon International

Photo Credit: Stockcake