(Approx 2 minute 10 second read)

I used to have an abundance of patience. My career demanded it. I would give people the benefit of the doubt, tolerate more than I should, and work hard to maintain peace in challenging situations.
.
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve noticed a shift. My filters have all but disappeared. I’ve learned that while being polite and respectful is always important, I no longer have the time or energy to tolerate manipulation or dishonesty.
.
In the past, I would have tried to work through difficult interactions, often pushing my own needs aside. Now, I don’t have the same patience for games or hidden agendas. I still strive to be polite and respectful in all my dealings, but when I sense manipulation, I simply shut down. It’s a protective mechanism, one that helps me conserve the time and energy I have left.
.
Some of the comments on my articles are strangely intriguing. One asked, “What is your fight record?” Another, “What makes you such an expert on violence?” And another, “Who are you anyway?”
.
One of those comments was from a very well-known and respected karateka. Quite a surprise when I received it.
.
At first glance, these might seem like genuine inquiries about my experience. But their tone suggests otherwise – more of a challenge than a question. They’re not seeking insight; they’re questioning my right to speak.
.
I’ve spent decades in the martial arts, learning, practicing, and teaching. After decades of experience, and now in my mid-60s, my priorities have shifted. I no longer feel the need to justify my experience or prove myself to skeptics. Life is simply too short for that.
.
As we grow older, time becomes our most valuable resource. We realize how important it is to invest our energy wisely – into people, pursuits, and situations that genuinely enrich our lives. That means balancing tolerance with clear boundaries, especially when faced with dishonesty, manipulation, or unnecessary drama.
.
There was a time when I believed compromise was always the answer, tolerating difficult situations to maintain peace. But I’ve since learned that allowing myself to be manipulated only drains my energy and clouds my peace of mind.
.
Integrity is essential, in the martial arts and in life. Respect must be mutual. When someone crosses a boundary – whether through dishonesty or pushing their agenda – it’s okay to walk away. It’s not weakness; it’s self-respect.
.
So when I receive comments questioning my credibility, I don’t take the bait. Instead, I focus on the values that have guided me: authenticity, respect, and clarity. While locating the ‘Block’ button.
.
Protecting your peace is more important than proving a point. The world will continue spinning, regardless of whether you engage. What matters is how you spend your time and energy.
.
Setting boundaries isn’t about shutting people out – it’s about making space for what truly matters. At the end of the day, your well-being is non-negotiable.
.
And if someone doesn’t respect your boundaries? Well, just remember the old saying: Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty, and the pig likes it.
.
.
Written by Adam Carter – Shuri Dojo
.