(Approx 2 minute 40 second read)

Further to my article on mental health, I want to address another important aspect that affects many both in and out of the martial arts – hate.
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You encounter many different attitudes in the martial arts. Most are extremely positive, but some harbor intense hatred. While all of us would prefer the positive, unfortunately, some just prefer to hate.
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I encountered such a person in one of my articles. He started by arguing nonsensically about his beliefs, about how wrong I was. Even after others corrected him, he still kept going. I gave him a chance, yet he persisted.
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As I have said before, my Page is not a Facebook Group or a public forum for endless debates or a place for airing grievances. I share content to provoke thought and reflection on your training. I haven’t the time, nor the inclination, for endless arguments.
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You can guess what comes next. Blocked. Deleted.
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So move on, let’s comment sensibly again. Well, some people can’t do that. I guess he felt this was disagreeable, and of course, he created a second Facebook account and did the same thing again. Okay, come on now. Once again – blocked and deleted.
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He couldn’t take the effrontery of being disagreed with and removed, so he went to Google, searched for my dojo, and left a bad review.
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I have never spoken to this guy, never met him, I don’t know him, I’m not a friend of his on social media, no email conversations, nothing – yet he decided to leave a bad review? (I have since requested its removal from Google.)
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Some people just can’t move on. They hold grudges and feel the need to fight back to the bitter end.
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Hate is an emotion that gives you a feeling of intense hostility and dislike, perhaps rooted in fear, anger, or a sense of grievance. Extreme hatred can inspire violence, whether physically or online.
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From time to time, I’m sure everyone has said, “I hate this…..…”. I know I have. I often hear myself saying it when driving when there seems to be nothing but clowns on the road. But most of the time, this is a fleeting emotion in the moment, perhaps born out of frustration.
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In the martial arts (and in society in general), real hatred is something we can do without. It seems to manifest itself in differences between styles, methods, and individuals who believe they know better. They often claim to be the best, or that they know more than you because someone said something at a seminar once.
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And when you question them, all you get back is “get over yourself”.
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Real hatred has no place in the martial arts, or anywhere else. It’s a strong word to use and the haters are not happy people; they have to build themselves up by tearing others down. Why are these people so fearful? Of what exactly? Fear of the unknown, fear of humiliation, fear of being found out?

^[1] The paradox of our time in history is that we all have more. We have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider roads but narrower viewpoints. We spend more but have less. There are more conveniences but less time. People have more degrees and certificates but less common sense, more information but less judgment. There are seemingly more experts everywhere, yet more problems with no solutions.
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Empathy is missing from so many people. Values have reduced. People talk too much, they don’t listen, or believe in “their truth” only. We’ve learned how to make a living, but not a life.
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Everyone falls short of something, but you have to be thankful for what they do. When hate repeatedly slips into everyday situations, something has gone wrong.
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Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering. It reminds me of something often attributed to Socrates: “When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser.”
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Written by Adam Carter
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^[1] Adapted from Dr. Bob Moorehead, Words Aptly Spoken, 1995.